I know I'm pregnant because...

1. I lug around a lead brick in my belly these last 6-8 weeks of my pregnancy.
2. I have to pee in a bucket for 24 hours a few times during my tenure.
3. I started having a noticeable waddle at 28 weeks. (just ask the Le Leche woman who approached me about breast feeding in a grocery store parking lot!)
4. My nipples were miserably tender the first 24-28 weeks of my pregnancy in addition to being super itchy. Try scratching something that physically causes you pain.
5. I have absolutely NO care in the world for ice cream.
6. I drink and retain more water than a camel.
7. I have a tiny person in my belly that has personal space issues and takes it out on my bladder.
8. I can cry on command, on a dime, in a wind storm, in the Sahara Desert .
9. I have a permanent stain 4 inches above my belly button on every maternity shirt I own.
10. I have taken a keen interest in the circumference of my husband’s head.
11. By 3:30 pm every afternoon, I would pay good money to be able to lie down on my left side for 10 minutes.
12. I could grow a fruit tree out of my uterus by now.