Honeymoon Extravaganza!

Waking up Monday morning, I was excited, tired from lack of sleep, nervous about forgetting to pack something, but darn ready for my honeymoon. I popped a few Vitamin C tablets because I felt groggy and achy and hoped that my mild symptoms were only caused by the AC in our room. The flights were good, on time, no waiting, and great seats on the plane. I was still feeling a bit under the weather and slept most of the flight. The flight from North Carolina to the Bahamas was exciting. The ocean was amazing and Scott and I were thrilled to start our honeymoon. When making our descent we noticed quite a large area of swamps and run down houses. A foreshadowing of what was to come.

Getting through customs was a learning experience, but it was easy once we knew what to do. We waited patiently as couple after couple bypassed us in line because we weren’t being assertive enough. Finally through customs, we found our way to the Breezes resort customer service desk. A quick peak at our voucher allowed us a free shuttle to our hotel. This was the beginning of service you won’t find here in the US. While a bumpy road lies ahead, I can say this with certainty, the Bahamians are wonderfully friendly, courteous and happy people (in general). The service in the Bahamas is like nothing we’ve seen before. It was refreshing and a highlight of our honeymoon.

Once we arrived at the hotel, my sore throat had worked its way into a sore ear and I desperately wanted to find my DayQuill meds that I had packed. Unfortunately, we arrived at our hotel at 2:20, an unlike the US, check in at 3:00 pm in the Bahamas, means 3:00 pm and not a minute earlier. By the time it was our turn to at the check in counter (there were lots of us honeymooners in line), it was 2:40 and, like all the others in front of us, we were told that the cafeteria was closed for lunch and our room wouldn’t be ready until 3:00 pm and we had to come back at that time. We were fitted with bracelets, not unlike those tacky plastic bracelets my generation were subjected to when we entered a dance club and were not old enough to drink. We had to wear this bracelet throughout our stay. Another clue that maybe this wouldn’t be the enchanting honeymoon we predicted. By this time, I was exhausted and could barely swallow due to my sore throat. I needed some medication to ease the pain and wanted desperately to get in our room so I could rest. But we walked around the resort and got the lay of the land. The beach was beautiful and the weather was spectacular; about 85 degrees, with a wonderful breeze off the ocean. At 3:00 on the dot, we ventured back inside and waited at the front desk again. This time we weren’t just among a bus load of honeymooners, we were among everyone who had arrived during the day waiting for their room key.

We finally got our room key, and went to find it. It was the VERY last room in the farthest corner of the hotel. A walk that seemed obnoxiously long and tedious at that moment, but it turned out to be our greatest ally – separated from all the action and quiet at night. We had an oceanfront room on the second floor.

The view was gorgeous. Immediately I noticed a few odd things missing from our room, but shrugged it off. Who needs an iron and an ironing board on vacation, right? We didn’t have a luggage rack, but the room was spacious enough to dump our suitcase on the floor. What I did notice and did not shrug off, however, was how slimy our floors were. Smart to have ceramic tile considering the humidity and the location of this resort, but it seemed like the floors had been washed with Murphy’s oil. The bathroom was even less inviting. I threw down a bath towel so I could walk on it, and our shower curtain made sure that our showers were fast and furious. But I was finally able to take some ibuprofen and rest a few minutes and within 30 minutes I was feeling up to the beach. We threw on our bathing suits and headed out. Like two kids at Christmas, Scott and I found two lounge chairs and food!

Then, needing to cool off, we jumped into the ocean. It was fabulous. The sun was strong, so we found our way to our hotel gift shop to purchase more sun block (thanks to Katina, we had put some SPF 30 on, but being a liquid, we could only bring 3 ounces of it on the plane, and that was long gone the first day).

Back in our room, we checked out the other amenities in our hotel brochure, most of which we knew about: waterskiing, kayaks, lunch and dinner buffets, the pool bar, the fancier restaurants located at our resort, snorkeling, etc. We would learn later on that “all-inclusive” has its limitations just like everything else in life. Though I’m sure I’ll regret admitting this, I was dead asleep the first night by 9 pm. The ibuprofen helped, but little did I know, I was very sick. I woke up at 1:30 am with lymph nodes the size of small apples on both sides of my neck. I couldn’t swallow without seething pain, and my ear was definitely infected. By 7 am I couldn’t take the pain anymore, so I called the nurse’s station at the hotel. She told me it would cost me $125.00 to make an appointment with the doctor at the hotel. Or, I could catch bus #10 outside the hotel and get to the walk-in clinic, which would be “much cheaper”. So Scott and I showered, grabbed a quick bite to put in our tummies, and headed out in search of bus #10. For those of you visiting the Bahamas in the near future, all public transportation buses are #10! HAHAHAHAHA! We hopped on the #10 bus going the wrong direction, but luckily the bus driver was kind enough to tell us to cross the street and catch the OTHER #10 bus going WEST. We had to walk about ½ a mile before we got to a bus stop and were picked up. But $2.00 got us safely to the Walk-in clinic. A clinic that was efficient, clean, and friendly. And to this day, I am very grateful for my experience there. The service could not have been better. I was taken in within 15 minutes by a nurse who, ironically, pronounced my last name Ouellette, PERFECTLY. So perfectly, in fact, that I asked her how she knew my last name. She told me that while she herself was born and raised in the Bahamas; her mother was French Canadian from Quebec. Small world! She took my complaint, my blood pressure, my weight, and my pulse. Then told me that I had to register with the clinic and then the doctor would see me. Registering was easy, as long as I could afford the $125.00 deposit in order to see the doctor. HAHAHAHAHA! By this time, it was 11 am and I didn’t care how much I had to pay because I knew no amount of Vitamin C was going to cure me. I needed antibiotics and fast. It just floored me that I could have got an appointment with a doctor at the hotel for the SAME price hours earlier. So much for trying to save money. The doctor, however, was worth every penny. She was wonderful; funny, caring, quick, but not in the slightest dismissive. Within minutes she declared I had strep throat, an ear infection and a fever. She told me how she’d like to treat me, considering it was my honeymoon, and I was only on the island for 4 more days. Then, she told me the price. For a fee of $290, I was injected (in the buttocks) with one shot of broad-spectrum antibiotics and one shot of an anti-inflammatory, which miraculously put the excruciating pain in my throat at bay within 15 minutes. I left the clinic 20 minutes later with a 7-day supply of antibiotics and anti-inflammatory medication.

With a new-found ability to swallow, Scott and I decided to check out this area of the island and walked around. It was great to just be with Scott. We found an outdoor “mall” next door to the clinic so we went to check out a few shops, hoping to find a piece of artwork to take back with us. But it was the oddest thing – none of the stores were open. The mall looked new. Some of the spaces were empty, but the place looked and felt deserted. Store signs for ice cream, hair cuts, massages/spas, gifts all looked new. We wondered if we were too early, that maybe the stores opened later in the day, but it was 11:30 am. So odd! We did take a few pictures because the mall was right on the water and it was beautiful out.

Having achieved little sleep the previous 3 nights, we headed back to the hotel for lunch and a nap. We spent the afternoon on the beach resting, reading, and playing Yahtzee. It was great. I had to make sure to take the anti-inflammatory medication once every 5 hours or else the screaming pain of my swollen lymph nodes returned. It wasn’t until Thursday that I finally felt back to normal. But thanks to the clinic, I was able to enjoy my medication-influenced honeymoon.

It took me a full 24 hours to get past a few things that I didn’t expect, like the mediocre buffet food, the not-so-cleanliness of the pools and our hotel room, and the high school party atmosphere of our hotel. Tuesday night, not wanting to endure another buffet meal at our hotel, and not being able to get reservations for one of their nicer restaurants, we decided to venture outside our hotel. This time, heading East on bus #10, we made our way to the “town center” – a much nicer part of the Bahamas, filled with shops that are actually opened, a lot of restaurants, and a lot of US influences like McDonalds and Subway. And a million jewelry stores! We found an amazing restaurant called “The Poop Deck”. This was the defining moment for us. The moment we realized that we can make our honeymoon ours by doing the things we love to do and letting go of our preconceived expectations. The food at the Poop Deck was fabulous and we enjoyed it on the deck, sitting right on the ocean.

Tuesday night, I actually made it to 10:30 pm. Poor Scott. He sure got a lot of sleep on our honeymoon! And he watched more movies those first couple of nights than he has in the last 6 months. But, we made those first few days enjoyable by relaxing by the water, playing board games (the hotel had tons of board games), and reading Harry Potter to each other. Luckily I have an amazing husband, and true to his vows, he loved me in sickness and in bad times. Can you imagine going to bed by 9 pm on your honeymoon…and not for the sake of any hanky-panky either?!

Having enjoyed our quick tour of the East side of the island, we hopped on another bus to the town center Wednesday morning. We walked around and found the ferry which took us to the famous Paradise Island, which is home to the Atlantis, a ritzy hotel that has a huge casino and aquarium. It was great! Scott ordered a real coffee and I needed something to wash down my medicine, so I stupidly ordered a mimosa. A total cost of $28.00. I don’t think we could afford to eat or sleep in that hotel. But the casino was fun. Walking around the Atlantis was a site-seeing tour in and of itself. It's gigantic, filled with beaches, waterfalls, and lots of fish. The fish were incredible. We got to see stingrays and a Manta Ray up close. There was even a shark! And I finally got some ice cream! (The ice cream machine at our hotel had been taken away to be cleaned a few days before our arrival and it never resurfaced, to my utter dismay!)

We returned to our resort late that afternoon because we had reservations for dinner. We tried to take advantage of some of the “inclusives” at our resort, but found out that there are time limitations and restrictions. First, the rock wall was only “open” one day the whole week we were there, for about an hour. The kayaks, sunfish sailboats, paddleboats, and water bikes were only available from 10 am to 3 pm, and waterskiing was non-existent. Past 3 pm and not able to do any kayaking or sailing, we laughed at our luck. Instead, we enjoyed more free alcohol and played pool and foosball until it was time for dinner.

There are two restaurants at our hotel, Garden of Eden and Pastafari. We had reservations for the Garden of Eden; attracted to the “island-specific” food, which Scott was anxious to try, and the romantic atmosphere they boasted. The restaurant was set up specifically for couples. All the tables were lined up along a long wall, facing the gardens outside our hotel. (There was also outdoor seating, which we would have preferred, but didn’t get, that sat each couple in the garden under little cabanas.) Inside, however, each table was separated by half walls of lattice and contained a cushy couch so that each couple sat side by side. The atmosphere was lovely. But we ate in a fury as each course of the meal was brought out in 4-minute intervals. We barely had time to finish our appetizer, and our salads were brought out. Scott’s soup came at almost the same time as his salad, and then we noticed that the couple next to us was already eating their Entrees. We laughed all the way back to our room at how fast we enjoyed our “romantic” dinner. Needless to say, we made reservations at the other restaurant, Pastafari, for the next night.

We changed back into our "beach" clothes, and spent time just hanging out on the beach. Another couple strolled by and we exchanged "picture taking" with them. Despite all the pitfalls, Scott and I did enjoy every minute together. It may not be the honeymoon most people dream of (playing scrabble and yahtzee), but Scott and I had a lot of wonderful moments. The nights on the beach were spectacular. Most of the people at our hotel were into partying and spent their time in the club, so the beach was empty and quiet. Very romantic.

Thursday, Scott and I ventured back into “town”. Another $2.00 bus trip to the East side of the Island where we then took a $50.00 boat tour with a glass-bottom which was great. Our tour guide tried to be funny and get our attention using his catch phrase, “if you’re having fun in the Bahamas, say ‘yah ma’an'”. We got to see where all the stars have beach homes, such as Oprah Winfrey and Michael Jordan. And we saw a lot of coral and fish on the ocean floor. It was fabulous. The weather was great! We enjoyed their “Straw Market” where we got many gifts for good prices. We had a late lunch at Senior Frogs, a very popular bar and club in the Bahamas. Free shots, ladies invited to dance on the bar, a conga line, and an MC that promoted drinking for all ages…all this at 1:30 in the afternoon. Can you imagine what this place is like at night? We enjoyed our Mexican food, and Scott enjoyed his second Kalik beer. Pronounced more like “click”, the beer was light for Scott’s typical taste, but it was so refreshing Scott really enjoyed it.

The bus ride back to our hotel was a trip! The bus driver, wanting to make the most money, filled his bus to the max. The typical public transportation bus contains one seat on the left side, and a bench seat, that barely fits Scott and me on the right side. Attached to the bench seat, which looks like an arm rest, is actually a collapsible seat. When the seat is in its opened position, the person lucky enough to sit in this collapsible seat fill/replace the aisle of the bus. (The buses are very narrow, as are the roads in the Bahamas.) When we entered the bus, there was one seat left in the far back row of the bus, which the bus driver prompted me to sit in. Scott, however, had to pull out the collapsible seats and he sat in front of me in the aisle. Lucky for Scott, a kind girl switched seats with him, so he got a window seat. Five more people were accosted on the street in order for this man to fill his bus. Finally, after 15 minutes, we were completely full and ready to go. When we got to our bus stop outside our hotel, the five people sitting in front of Scott in the aisle seats all had to get up, collapse their seats and file out of the bus so that Scott and I could get off. I felt like I was in a movie, part of some 3rd world country family being bussed to our work station so we can farm the fields.


That night, we ate at Pastafari. Unlike the Garden of Eden, we had to wait outside the door until exactly 6:30 pm. When the door opened, the manager of the restaurant welcomed us and then bluntly stated that no one wearing shorts would be allowed in her restaurant. Scott and I were completely insulted. The night before, we dressed up in our nicest attire only to be amidst jean and t-shirt-clad vacationers. Though a different restaurant, the blurb stated only “casual elegance” as the dress code, just like Garden of Eden. We made the assumption that our nice dress shorts and button-down dress shirts would be good enough for Pastafari. But we assumed incorrectly, and had to run back to our hotel room, which, if you remember, was tucked in the farthest corner of the hotel. It was not a quick jaunt. By the time we had made it back to the restaurant sans-shorts, we were full of sweat and almost everyone had already started eating. However, we were able to sit in a nice cozy corner of the restaurant, a restaurant that actually LOOKED like a restaurant with large mahogany tables, dimmed lighting, and candles at each table. We took our time and enjoyed each other’s company and a full bottle of wine or two. This meal was by far better than Garden of Eden. The evening, as a whole was very romantic.

Having spent money on medical care and food outside the hotel that we had obviously not planned on spending, we had to cut back on a few things we really wanted to do, such as rent jet-skiis and riding the open ocean and playing golf. We had REALLY wanted to play golf. But for 9 holes, we would have spent $200. So Friday, we decided to stay at the hotel and enjoy the free alcohol, free food, and do some kayaking and beach stuff. I was SO looking forward to having a full day at the beach. But you guessed it. It poured rain the whole day.

I had it all planned out too. Outside our hotel window was a quiet, secluded area of the beach with lawn chairs that no one used. Anxious to enjoy some quiet alone time with Scott on the beach, I gathered up all our beach stuff and we headed out for a quick breakfast and then off to the sand. Scott went to shut our hotel room door, and he couldn’t. Turns out, the metal plate on the door broke so that it stuck out far enough that it wouldn’t allow us to shut our hotel door. AHHHHH! We called the front desk and reported our issue. They said they would send someone out to fix it promptly. Because we knew they wouldn’t be prompt (We ran out of toilet paper a few days earlier because they had not restocked our bathroom and it took them a couple hours to get us more…thank god for tissues! We also ran out of TOWELS because they had taken our used, wet towels on Wednesday morning but had not replaced them, and it took them a couple hours to get us wash cloths and hand towels.) and because we had a safe box in our room which held our valuables, and because our room was at the very end of a very long hall, so people don’t pass by our hotel door, we decided to eat breakfast, and then come back and wait for maintenance to fix our door. An hour later, a lady with a clipboard comes to survey the damaged door. She takes a few notes and says she’ll send someone to fix it immediately. Another hour later, still no one came. Not wanting to lose time on our vacation, we took our valuables with us in a big beach bag (thanks to Teri and LL Bean!), and left our room again. Yes, the door slightly ajar!

It was sprinkling out, but we noticed a few hammocks that were unoccupied. The hammocks hung under cabanas, so we’d be shielded from the rain. Scott got into the hammock first. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. The idiot who created the hammocks built the cabana legs too close together. So the hammock hung low to the ground. MUCH too low, and Scott wasn’t swinging in the hammock, he was lying on the sand, the hammock resting below him, still hanging from its hooks. We should have known that the hammock wasn’t going to work as it hung only inches from the beach sand. But still, it was quite entertaining to watch Scott get out of the hammock and brush off the sand from his back. Don’t worry, despite my uncontrollable laughter, I helped my hubby. So then, we headed to the lawn chairs, finding two of them under umbrellas. That didn’t work either. The rain, coming in sideways, and we were getting soaked. So we moved again, to a picnic table housed under some thick palm trees. As soon as we were settled and had picked the first 7 letters to begin Scrabble, the wind picked up and was getting our game board wet. We decided to move to a table under the decking of the hotel (I was damn determined to be OUTSIDE!), and on the way, Scott noticed the hot tub was open and empty! (the first day or two of our stay, the hot tub was closed!). So we pealed off our clothes, down to out bathing suits and got right in. It was great! About 20 minutes later, every one else realized how wonderful the hot tub would be too. And within minutes, it was packed with smoking 18 year olds. So we got out.

It was just about time for lunch and we knew we should go check on our room and our broken door. Everything untouched, including our broken door, Scott decided he needed to get someone’s attention. We went to the front desk and told them that we had waited until 8 that morning to get our door fixed. Scott was ready to ask the woman for a screwdriver and he’d fix the door himself! But instead of fixing our door, the hotel thought it best to move us. Keep in mind that this was THE NIGHT before we left. Why couldn’t the door work for just ONE MORE NIGHT???!!! Scott and I got an identical room on the 5th floor. We had to go back to our room and pack everything. Then we had to trudge up to the 5th floor with all our luggage. No courteous bellman this time. The room on the 5th floor was wall-to-wall carpeting. It had a musty odor, but the room was so much cleaner and well stocked. A new iron and ironing board hung in the closet, as well as a luggage rack. The bathroom had tons of extra amenities and plenty of towels and toilet paper. We hit the jackpot!

Not wanting to be defeated, we headed out for kayaking. We got about 10-15 minutes in, just finally getting into our stride, and the storm clouds came blustering overhead. The lifeguard waved enthusiastically from the shore, our sign to head back in. The rain pelted us as we paddled to shore, took off our life jackets and walked back to our hotel room. Minutes later, the sun came out. J But it was short-lived and the rain kept us inside most of the day. It was extraordinarily humid and because most everyone was inside due to the rain, it was very smoky in the common rooms. We played a few games of pool and foosball and then enjoyed the coolness of the AC in our new room. We had reservations for Pastafari’s again. I had Grouper, which was astounding. Scott had NY Strip steak, which was much more like London broil. We didn’t bother with dessert this time around because the Tiramisu we had the night before was like eating generic spice cake with sweetened cool whip in the center and thick chocolate syrup on top. It was pretty awful. Instead, we went down to the buffet dinner a few hours later and enjoyed eating our choice of dessert.

Saturday morning arrived and Scott and I were completely ready to head home. The tropical storm season had started and the rain and wind were gusting. The humidity in the common areas was stifling so after breakfast and after checking out (we had to check out earlier than our departure bus time), we grabbed Scrabble one more time, and enjoyed our last game at the hotel in the air conditioned piano bar. A few minutes before our bus was to take us back to the airport, I had to go to the bathroom. But, timing is everything. The public restrooms in the hotel lobby were closed temporarily due to cleaning, and the public restrooms downstairs outside the hotel club “Hurricane” (which opened at 11 pm and in which Scott and I did not check out), were locked. So I did the pee-pee dance until someone told us that there were bathrooms available on the other side of the hotel lobby, up the stairs. This side of the hotel we hadn’t been to before, but it was beautiful. It was the “wedding” side. Banquet rooms that were luxurious and spacious, sitting areas for the bride and her bridesmaids, cocktail areas for drinks before the reception were all laid out in grandeur. So unlike the rest of our hotel, it felt as though we walked through the looking glass mirror in Alice in Wonderland.

And finally, our departure. Getting through customs was more tedious, but it was quick and painless for the most part. The airport in the Bahamas is not set up to handle many hungry passengers, so our lunch consisted of pretzels and water, as we didn’t feel like waiting in line for an hour to pay $25.00 for two hot dogs and a soda. Once on the plane, heading back home, we were quite happy. Again, we were blessed with great seats (we had to ask for seats sitting together on this first leg back to CT because we were booked sitting 5 rows apart, and again, the Bahamian airport attendant was friendly and easily willing to give Scott and I exit row seating with LOTS of leg room, sitting side by side). Once in North Carolina, we had a very long layover. Having more than 4 hours to kill, we ate at Chilis in the airport and took our time. I made a few calls to family to let them know we were safe and sound back in the US. And then, finally, at 8:00 pm, we boarded the plane for CT. A wonderful honeymoon and a wonderful return to our wonderful house. Stay tuned for our next adventure: painting and refurnishing the living room, and re-painting the dining room at the same time with all 100 wedding gifts waiting to be put away!